'It's immediate scurrying if i'm moving in her general vicinity': Feral rescue pawrent hits a wall with socializing their kitty, but tiny wins, bed-purrs, and a bestie cat sidekick keep hope growing

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Sep 6, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Mirri's tail is feral-to-family with an adoption at its heart. Born outdoors and garage-sheltered through a brutal winter, she was trapped and adopted at six months old. She arrived wary, wormy, and unconvinced that hoomans are useful. Seven months later the glow-up shows: healthy, spayed, vaccinated, and brave enough to patrol the house as long as her purson stays statue-still. Best of all, she chose a best furriend in the "middle cat," and that friendship is pure gold.

Purgress keeps happening in tiny pawsteps. On the bed beside her buddy, Mirri will allow 20–30 seconds of gentle pets, sometimes flash a shy belly, even purr, then suddenly exit stage left. Everywhere else, one step toward her triggers zoom-out mode. It feels like hitting a meowtain: not backsliding, just stuck on the ledge. The adopter is proud, protective, and a little exasperpurrated, wishing the trust meter would tick up a notch.

The current game plan is slow-and-steady socializing, richer play sessions, and lickable diplomacy to pair hands with happy. Lap-cat dreams are lovely, but consistent, non-scurry moments would already be a win. Whatever speed Mirri chooses, she's safe, bonded, and loved. A work-in-purrgress who traded the cold for a warm home and a patient human.

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  • 01
    'Even if there is no further progress all is well, but will keep at it'
    via skynesher / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hey all; would appreciate any advice on how to get Mirri more comfortable (or if perhaps there's simply nothing to be done with some cats.)
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 03
    Mirri is just over a year now and was born in my friend's yard. He would see the litter with their mom around time to time and occasionally leave food out, but they never interacted with people. This past winter it got brutally cold so he let the cats into his garage, trapped them and found homes for them all; i
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 04
    took the littlest one in January. She was a little over 6mos feral at the time and it took several weeks just to get her to the point where she didn't manically try to run anytime i was near or yowl at me. (Health-wise, she had worms but is now healthy, spayed and has all her shots.)
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 05
    Slow painstaking progress over the past 7 months but seems like i've hit a wall. She immediately took to one of my other 2 cats and they are FAST friends, always playing and cuddling. Have gotten to the point where she tolerates my presence, will come sniff me if I'm stationary, is fine bopping around the house so long as I don't come near her but
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10550844416
    via karamysh / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    immediately flees if I even move in her direction. Strangely, if she's on the bed with my other cat she tolerates gentle petting for as long as like 20-30sec sometimes (even showing her belly a few times and purring!) before having enough and jumping off the bed. Vast majority of the time though it's immediate scurrying if i'm moving in her general vicinity. It's been the same for the past several months.
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 08
    Wondering if there are any tips, techniques, etc. that can get her more comfortable around me at least or people in general. Would love her to be a lap cat like my others though perhaps just not in the cards, but if could get her to the point where she was happy with periodic touch/pets and
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 09
    didn't flee all the time it'd be great. In particular I know getting her to the vet for checkups will be a tremendous headache if she doesn't get more comfortable. (The initial set of visits and her spaying i still had her in a single room and had removed most furniture she could hide under so was able to brute force it.)
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 10
    Thanks! Picture just cuz. EDIT: Lots of great advice in here; thank you all! Seems like patience may just be the key, but I checked out the SSL site and while I've sort of used some of their recommendations haven't done so rigidly; may try that! I
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10550841856
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 12
    have used delectables which she will eat off my finger but won't let me pet her while doing so---i'll try those again and/or the Churus which maybe will work better! Also she will play with wands/toys but maybe I just need a more regimented approach as SSL suggests.
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 13
    Either way I'm happy to have her as a member of the household and love that she gets along with my middle cat so even if there is no further progress all is well, but will keep at it regardless and appreciate you all taking the time to respond!
    via ArrivalSuccessful
  • 14
    the_road_infinite Try looking into socialization saves lives. They have something called the approach sequence that might help with the fleeing thing. Also seconding what the other commenter said about using the Churu with petting. She looks like a sweetheart!
    via the_road_infinite

  • Certified heart-melter right there. Stock the treat drawer, prep the Churu reserves, and brace for slow blinks. With snacks and patience, that cutie will be booping and purring in no time.

  • 15
    Sea... you honestly just have to give her time and wait it out which I know can be frustrating. I've had a feral cat for 5 years and he never accepted touch until a couple of weeks ago. i finally accepted i will never be able to pet him like a normal house cat and then it just happened! I suggest
    via Sea_portal
  • 16
    gabapentin for vet visits and maybe trying churrus for getting close to her and possibly petting. try playing with her with some toys she likes. leave some clothes on the floor so she can get used to and feel comfortable with your scent. she will come around in her own time and probably isn't trying to get used to you because she feels so safe with her cat bestie who's also in the house.
    via Sea_portal
  • 17
    WorldOfTech Just show love, lots of it....If she enjoys playing that too.....And yeah, lots of treats as well......
    via WorldOfTech

  • Love and treats fix most things. Patience, warm lap, a few bribes, and chin scritches turn skittish moments into slow blinks and purrs. Keep showing up. It softens with snacks.

  • 18
    InTheseTrying Time5 Sounds like you're making great progress! I've got six formerly ferals and it took different times for all them to relax and trust me. It's been over eleven years inside for most at this point and one of them only allowed me to touch him a few months ago!
    via InTheseTryingTime5
  • 19
    That's over eleven years! But now he loves to get pets at morning feeding time - it's an amazing breakthrough for him. Just took eleven years of patience!
    via InTheseTryingTime5
  • 20
    So I'd say just give her time - she might become a lovebug today or a year from now but as long as she's doing so well I recommend just letting her go at her own pace.
    via InTheseTryingTime5

  • Give it time. Socializing takes years, not just months. Keep doing what you are doing with calm presence, play, routine, and treats. Tiny pawsteps add up. One day slow blinks become stay-and-snuggle.

  • 21
    jenea With cats who were not socialized as kittens, you should really be thinking in terms of progress over years, not months. You're doing really well so far, just keep it up! As others are saying, Churu works miracles. Reward her with it whenever she socializes with you.
    via jenea
  • 22
    Honest-Bit-9680 It took some of our ferals 2 - years to come around — and it sounds like you are making good progress so I would just keep it up and give it time
    via Honest-Bit-9680

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pets adopted advice pawrents feral Cats stray rescue
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